The Intimacy Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, making love brings immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we original site are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , leading to effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, nearness, and wellness .

But when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a number of his customers more tips here have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in cosmopolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting see post stimulates!

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